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Burger and Fry Debauchery

June 20, 2009

I drank my weight in wine at the Kiwanis Uptown charity event. When they ran out of chardonnay, my brilliance switched to champagne. Hey, it was for the children and we raised $3,000! The silent auction and raffle were a hit. The decorations were beautiful. The photo booth was out of control. It was an amazing evening. Definitely, a team effort! You can scroll down to witness some of the debauchery below.

Needless to say, yesterday was pretty worthless. Every time I stood up, it felt like the Disney teacup ride all over again in addition to the obese elephant who insisted on practicing its tap dancing inside my brain.

Luckily, the win-o picked up Five Guys Burgers and Fries for medicinal purposes. Ahh, grease, classic hangover relief. Today, I feel like a bloated starfish so that’s why I’m going to bring you a healthy rendition to the good ol’ classic burger and fries.

 Turkey Burgs with Sweet Tater Fries

 Turkey Burgs

  •  1 lb. turkey burger
  • ¼ onion
  • ¼ red pepper
  • ¼ cup cilantro
  • McCormick’s Grill Mates (We used roasted garlic flavor.)
  • ½ teaspoon red pepper flakes (I’d put red pepper flakes on my ice cream if I could.)
  • 1 teaspoon of minced garlic
  • Blue cheese for topping

Place meat in large bowl. Chop up the onion, pepper, cilantro and massage into the meat to meld it like there’s no tomorrow. Get your hands dirty. Add the steak seasoning, red pepper flakes, garlic, salt and pepper and keep massaging. Roll into five or six patties. Press an indentation in the middle, so when you grill ‘em up, they are flat. Make your win-o grill the burgers, a few minutes on each side. Top with blue cheese and serve with wheat hamburger buns. They taste just as good without the bun, too. I usually check out my buns in the mirror to determine if a bun is what I need.

Win-o’s Grilling Tips: The win-o is an amazing grill master, especially when it comes to poultry. He is very meticulous, which is typically why his meat turns out so perfectly.

  • Grilling is more effective with beer.
  • Stand by the grill and check out your meat, both pieces.
  • Flip a few times for even grilling.
  • Generate wind in the stomach.
  • Laugh at your own flatulence.
  • Flip the meat again.
  • Become intimately familiar with the hot spots of your grill.
  • Don’t worry about using a thermometer, cut into the meat to see if it’s cooked to your perfection.
  • Make manly grunting noises when the meat is perfect.

Sweet Tater Fries

Sweet potatoes are very good for you. They contain rich dietary fiber, beta carotene, Vitamin C and Vitamin B6. If you’re going to have potatoes, make it a sweet one. Plus, we Southerners love our sweet potatoes.

  • 2-3 large sweet potatoes
  • 1 tablespoon EVOO
  • ½ teaspoon nutmeg
  • ½ teaspoon of cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon of paprika (I like heat, use less, if you’re not into spiciness.)  
  • Salt and Pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Peel the taters. Use a French fry cutter to make fry shapes. If you do not have a French fry cutter, chop the taters into French fry shapes. You can also use a food processor. Cover a cookie sheet with tin foil. Spread the fries evenly among the tin foil. Drizzle about 1-2 tablespoons of EVOO on fries. Sprinkle nutmeg, cinnamon, paprika, red pepper flakes and salt and pepper. Using tongs, gentle mix up the fries to make sure they are evenly covered in seasoning. Bake at 425 degrees for 30 minutes. At the 15-minute mark, stir the fries around to make sure they’re cooked evenly. Check on the fries to make sure they’re not burning.

future politicians of America

future politicians of America


leaders of the world

leaders of the world

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Becks permalink
    June 22, 2009 6:39 pm

    Those photos are AMAZING. Did you borrow that cowboy hat from the woman at Nikko??


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