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The Evelyn in Nash-vegas

July 6, 2009

My apologies, dear readers, for not updating you on my trip to Nash-vegas, which was AWESOME, by the way. What a great city. It’s the only city in America where you can travel to nine different bars wearing cowboy boots and hear Patsy Cline’s Me and Bobby McGee in nine ways. Did I live up to my travel-friendly goals?

  • Hand out 25 business cards. Didn’t count but I only have a few remaining. I even gave one to the homeless Tom Petty on the street. 
  • Eat some Nashville delicacies. Tennessee BBQ,  anyone? We had some tasty Tennessee pig at the local eatery where macaroni and cheese counts as a vegetable. Only in the South you will see mac n’ cheese listed under vegetables. While enjoying our Tennessee eats, the doc told us a disturbing story about a morbidly obese woman, a sweet potato and her down under. I will say no more. In the meantime, please enjoy sweet tater fries recipe.
  • Take a gander at the Country Music Hall of Fame. Unfortunately, we missed out on this one, but we did hear the likes of Tracy Bird, Mark Wills and Ricky Skaggs at the Grand Ol’ Opry.
  • Taste some exquisite wine. I wouldn’t call it exquisite, but of course I had wine. I also enjoyed what I like to call the “Evelyn.” Confession: I have been envious of Shirley Temple my entire life. She’s so blonde, curly and smiley. I just want to eat her up, er, drink her via ginger ale and grenadine. Seeing as though I’m so much like Shirley (minus blonde curls, smile and sobriety), wouldn’t you want to drink me up by way of special vodka and club soda concoction? Oh yes, you would.
    • 2 oz. Stoli Peach vodka
    • club soda 
    • A splash of cranberry
    • Top with lime
  • Drink beverages at a honky tonk. Many beverages drunk at tonk.
  • Attempt line dancing at the tonk. Learned to gyrate my bootie in lieu of dancing in line.
  • Meet a native Nashvillian. Passed out business card to homeless dude that looked like Tom Petty.
  • Take picture of Nashville Parthenon. Yes, evidently there is a replica of the Greek Parthenon in Nash-vegas. Doner than a pig on a roast.
  • Find my sister a native Nashvillian in his 20s. Ideally a doctor, lawyer, mobster … someone who’s pulling in the six digits. He must have a little bit of nerd in him and a passion for technology, booze, eating, crass humor and inappropriateness. I met a doctor, but he is 45 and married. Sorry, Alice. I will say the sweet potato story was quite crass and the perfect topic for a Wagner dinner table conversation. Maybe he has a younger, single brother? 
  • Set up LoveFest 2k9 for Nashvillian and sister. Pending on next trip to Nashvegas.
  • Eat some more amazing food. Not into eating Wilbur? Fried catfish is on almost every Nashville menu.
  • Learn how to build membership in Kiwanis. Want to join? Visit
  • And, lastly have a good time. I had an amazing time especially after chanting “I’ve got the vines, sweet potato pie,” through out the streets of viva Nashvegas. 


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