Need a vacay?
This just in … special news broadcast … attention to those of you with holes in your pockets, unlimited vacation time or those who just prefer excessively high credit card debt …
The Grove Park Inn in Asheville, NC is offering a special running Sundays to Thursdays in August. For only $428, enjoy a two-night stay which usually costs a small Ducktails fortune, two passes to the world-renowned spa, and breakfast for the high-class hookers accompanying you.
In just two short days, you can explore the likes of Asheville … hippies, Biltmore wine, hippies and more hippies. Head up to the Sky Bar which is in an old janitorial closet conveniently located near the fire exit of a 1930s Asheville building. It’s a step back in time, Dick Tracy time. Just remember your yellow coat. When you stumble back to the Grove Park, enjoy late-night piano at Elaine’s, a Vegas-style piano bar.
You won’t want to pass up this deal. The win-o and I are saddened that we can’t jump on it. We’ll just have to call up Mr. Vanderbilt himself to send him the catastrophic news.