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From the Land Down Under

August 7, 2009

He comes from a land down under, where women glow and men plunder over Charles, Aussie style. Oh, can you hear the thunder in your loins after tasting this marvel?

Trader Joe’s infamous “Two Buck Chuck” has gone international on us from the likes of the land down under. Didn’t you hear? International is the new black.

At its $2-$4 price point (depending on the markets), the Chardonnay is a fruit forward, budget-friendly explosion. It’s not a biter like its American counterpart. It’s a lover, an Australian lover at that. Think Hugh Jackman playing the late Steve Irwin in the Biography of a Crocodile Hunter.

Scene 1, Take 2: Take your shirt off Hugh and save that Koala from the man-eating croc.

Scene 5, Take 1: Alright, Hugh, now it’s time to wrestle Jaws in the Great Barrier Reef. Go to wardrobe and take that shirt off.

Scene 3, Take 10: Ok, Hugh, now instead of getting stabbed by the stingray, you’re going to spear them with your Wolverine claws. And, make sure the shirt stays off this time.

Scene 34, Take 5: Now, make crocodile belts with matching shoes. No, Hugh, you can’t put your shirt back on.

Scene 124, Take 3: Time to wave the baby in front of the flesh-eating croc. Ah, Hugh, can you just remove your shirt first?

Scene 125, Take 2: Uhhh … Looks like we’re going to need another baby. Johnnie, can you get the back-up baby into wardrobe?

Scene 135, Take 5: Let’s cue the Journey music. Ok, Hugh, throw this bucket of water all over your chest while you shake the water off yourself in slow motion.

Next time you’re in the mood for a cheap Australian love flick, take the Charles Shaw International Chardonnay out for a whirl. If it disappoints, picture Hugh Jackman on a platter with an apple in his mouth. Shirtless, of course. Wolverine claws and all. Oh and wipe the drool off your face. It’s embarassing.

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