Tricking Out Your Tortellini

You’ve added 20-inch dubs and a 12-inch lift to your 1991 Chevrolet Caprice, why not trick out your tortellini? Using a weekday staple of Buitoni’s pre-made tortellini, trick it out with just a few simple ingredients. It’s like adding rims and hydraulics to your old Buick, baby. Or, like T Pain app-ing your tortellini. There’s an app for that.

Tricked Out Tortellini

Serves 8 (The Hoover, see below, counts as five)

• ½ chopped yellow onion
• 3 minced garlic cloves
• 1 package of sliced portabellas
• 1 pound of shrimp
• 1 package of family-size Buitoni tortellini
• 1 package of Buitoni pesto
• ¼ cup of sour cream (makes it creamy)
• ¼ cup of pine nuts
• 1 bundle of fresh basil
• Salt N’ Pepa

Saute chopped onion and minced garlic cloves in olive oil on medium-high heat. Add portabellas after two minutes. Saute for about 5-6 minutes. Add shrimp. You’re such a gangsta.

Boil a big pot of water. Add the tortellini and boil for about 7-9 minutes. Strain the tortellini. That tortellini is tight, yo.

Add the onion, mushroom and shrimp mixture to the big pot. Throw in the tortellini. Fold in the pesto and sour cream. Add the pine nuts and chopped fresh basil. Sprinkle Salt N’ Pepa. Ohhh baby, baby, ohhh baby, baby. Push it real good.

it's tricky

The Hoover is tricking out his bowels after this much tortellini.

too legit, too legit to quit