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Macaroni a la Crab

November 9, 2009

As I’ve said before, macaroni and cheese is a vegetable in the South. Moreover, it is a mode of survival in my house. It’s like water; we will die in three days without the cheesy, buttery curled noodles of adoration.

I am giving you fair warning that this recipe really has no health benefit whatsoever. In fact, if you experience high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes or if you are susceptible to stroke, do not ingest. Additionally, if you become winded going up a flight of stairs, can’t see your toes in the shower, have a spare tire the size of an 18-wheeler’s or if when you bend over, we enter Daylight Savings Time, I recommend to steer clear. Otherwise, indulge with your Turkey Day dinner or couple it with an aforementioned Slow Cooker Pork BBQ.

 Crab-aroni and Cheese

  •  1 lb. elbow pasta
  • ¾ stick of unsalted butter
  • 6 tablespoons of flour
  • 1 teaspoon of dry mustard
  • 1 teaspoon of paprika
  • ½ teaspoon of cayenne pepper (less if you can’t handle the heat, more if you can)
  • 2 cups of milk (2%)
  • 1 chopped bell pepper (I had to incorporate a vegetable somewhere.)
  • 1 can of lumped crab meat (Use the affluent crab if you wish. We used bourgeois’ canned crab meat. It did the trick.)
  • 1½ cups of sharp cheddar cheese
  • 1 small log of goat cheese
  • Handful of bread crumbs
  • Sprinkling of parsley and red pepper flakes

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Boil a large pot of water. Once water boils, add elbow pasta. Boil for about seven minutes. Strain the pasta in a large colander. In the same pot, melt butter. Add flour a little bit at a time and whisk until you develop a thick roux. Add next three seasonings. Whisk. Add about ½ cup of milk at a time. Keep whisking. Add bell pepper and crab meat. Insert dirty innuendo about crab here. Next, add cheeses until they melt. Sprinkle red pepper flakes. Stir. In a casserole dish, pour ½ of sauce and noodles. Fold together. Pour remaining sauce and noodles. Stir. Top with bread crumbs, parsley and a handful of cheddar cheese. Bake for about 30 minutes until bubbly. 

Note: If you have sherry on hand, a few tablespoons would mesh well with the creamy crab.


sauce with butter, flour, crab, pepper, cheese and spices


bread crumbs and shredded cheeses over layers of velvety elbows


Inhale for nourishment.

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