In the Spirit of Thanksgiving
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, my family has a tradition where we all take turns around the table and say what we’re thankful for. Since we’d rather eat our feelings than communicate them, there is usually a lot of pre-boozing involved before the big reveal. So, without further ado, I present the 10 things I’m most thankful for this Thanksgiving:
- Spanx: Thanks to your advanced fiber technology, I’ll be able to relinquish five pounds otherwise gained from turkey, potatoes, more potatoes, booze, cheesecake, and repeat. Granted, my organs will feel like 30 people stuffed in a Volkswagen bug but beauty is painful.
- The tool trying to talk on his BlackBerry in the 40th story elevator: Because douche-bags make the world go round. See Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag (females can be tools, too), Kanye West, Kim from Real Housewives of Atlanta, etc.
- Air vents in bathrooms: The cure all to stage fright.
- The person that invented the Snuggie: If only, they came with feet. Cue dude dancing on couch in latest Snuggie commercial. Because everyone should do the “wave” at the soccer game wearing a Snuggie.
- Jorts: Hey, where did you get those jeans? But wait, they’re cut off at the knee? Wow, I love it how they cuff right at the thigh to show off that extra bulge of fat on your leg. Your butt looks really flattering in them. I like it how it looks bigger. What do you call those? Jorts? A total revelation in fashion! What will they think of next? Pairs well with mullets.
- Gabby, my Garmin: I’m forever lost without you. I love when I go in the wrong direction, you get pissed, and “recalculate.” I also love that I can change your voice to Archibald the British lad, Tony the Italian, Bubba the redneck, and Helga the Dutch princess.
- D-Money: Who could resist that face? Despite the hundreds of dollars you’ve cost me in the past year, you’re one heckuva pooch.
- My family: Because like the Chang and Eng siamese twins, you’re stuck with me.
- The ‘puter Hub: For making my lunch and dropping me off at work every day. Yes, I just turned 12.
- Cheese: You light up my life. You put the ying in my yang. You are my cup runneth over. You had me at hello. You make me want to be a better WOman. You lift me up where I belong. You are so beautiful. I love that you get cold when it is 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s [Thanksgiving]. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. And, most of all you make for a really fabulous cake. Pairs well with Thanksgiving.
Bourbon Pumpkin Cheesecake with a Ginger Snap Crust
I combined several pumpkin cheesecake recipes and techniques that I found on FoodNetwork.com–Paula Deen and Down Home with the Neelys–as well as Recipes.com. Oh Paula, ham is such a flattering color on you! Ham is so hot right now.
- 2 cups of ginger snap crumbs
- 2 tablespoons of brown sugar
- 1 stick of melted unsalted butter
- 3 8-ounce packages of cream cheese
- 1 15-ounce can of pumpkin
- 3 eggs plus 1 egg yolk
- ¼ cup of sour cream
- ½ cup of brown sugar
- 1 cup of sugar
- 1 teaspoon of cinnamon
- ½ teaspoon of nutmeg
- 2 tablespoons of bourbon (add a cup if you choose to indulge)
- 2 tablespoons of flour
- 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
- ¼ teaspoon of salt
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
In a medium bowl, combine crumbs and brown sugar. Add butter and stir. Press down flat into a 9-inch springform pan.
Beat cream cheese until smooth. Add pumpkin and eggs. Beat. Add sour cream and the next seven ingredients. Beat until smooth. Pour into the crust. Bake for an hour on 350 degrees. Let it cool for 15 minutes. Refrigerate.
Note: Ok, advice is definitely appreciated here. I covered the bottom of the springform pan with tin foil in hopes to cook the cheesecake in a steam bath. Of course, I didn’t have a big enough pan, so I just placed the cake in the oven. The butter from the crust dripped down the whole hour and created a lovely burning smell through out the house. Ideas for quick fixes, anyone? Bueller, Bueller?
Note #2: Baking the cake in a steam bath helps deter cracks from forming at the top of the cake.