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Fat Face Syndrome

December 9, 2009

fat face syndrome [fāt feys sin-drohm] noun, adjective, verb 

  1. Occurs when multiple chins swallow a person’s face in pictures. Especially common when wearing turtlenecks, upon gaining a few pounds, in the pale winter months, and if your name is Evelyn.
  2. A group of chins that engulfs a face.

 Usage in a sentence 

Noun – Hey, remember when you had chronic fat face syndrome during college after you gained 30 pounds?
Adjective – Don’t go all fat face syndrome on me during my wedding!
Verb – She totally just fat face syndromed that picture.   

Common side effects of fat face syndrome include excessive remarks such as “Whoa! She gained a few pounds,” “Free Willyyyyy,” “Is she preg-o?” or “Yo’ sista’ so fat, she swallowed a penny and out popped the Lincoln Memorial!” 

To treat fat face syndrome, eat your green veggies even if they are disguised in a buttery, cheesy gratin. They’re still packed with nutrition, and they make a great side dish for the holidays. Plus, broccoli has such a beautiful crisp green color. It’s like eating a gorgeous tree, trunks detached. Who could resist? 

Broccoli Au Gratin

  • Two big broccoli heads cut into florets
  • 4 tablespoons of unsalted butter
  • 4 tablespoons of flour
  • ¼ cup of milk
  • ¼ cup of cheddar cheese
  • 1 teaspoon nutmeg
  • 1 teaspoon of paprika
  • 1 teaspoon of dry mustard
  • 2 tablespoons of panko bread crumbs
  • 2 tablespoons of parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Boil broccoli for about 3-4 minutes, and transfer to a bowl of ice cold water. This technique helps to keep its color. 

In a saucepan, melt butter. Add flour and whisk until it forms a paste. Add milk. Stir until the sauce is thick to the point that it covers the back of a spoon. Take off of the burner and add ¼ cup of cheddar cheese. Stir. Place broccoli into a casserole dish. Coat with sauce and fold in the broccoli. Top with parmesan cheese and bread crumbs. Bake for 30 minutes. 

Say GOODBYE to Fat Face Syndrome forever!


Who wouldn't want to eat broccoli this way?

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