It Takes a Special Lady to Wear Leopard
This post has been in the cue for a while now. Namely, because it was too hard and too soon for me to write about it. You see I attempt to make these posts humorous. Do I always succeed? I don’t know. You tell me.
One of the rather daunting tasks when a loved one passes away is cleaning out the person’s belongings. My mom’s closet was exploding with animal prints, fur-collared sweaters and coats, designer shoes, leather skirts and jackets with matching accessories for every outfit. By exploding, I mean, it took my sister and I (plus a few helpers) an entire day, three bottles of champagne and a whole roll of SD card to get through it, and we’re still not finished. We tried to replicate the scene from Sex and the City when Carrie cleans out her closet … doing our best to find the light out of a stinky situation. Check out the montage below.
As Rachel Zoe, stylist to the stars, said, “It takes a special woman to wear leopard.” Pam sure was special. I miss my mom for a variety of reasons, but today I miss her because I have racked up some questions that need answering like …
- Is it weird that I met this woman who was still breast feeding her 2-year-old? It kinda grossed me out, but if it’s normal, hey, what do I know?
If you know the answer, please comment.
- What should I wear to a 5:00 pm wedding? I’m torn between a polka dotted one shoulder or a gold spaghetti strap print. Polka-dotted? Ok, good choice.
Answer: semi-formal (dark suit for males, short cocktail dress for the ladies)
- Why didn’t you remind me to bring a coat for traveling to Ohio?
- Want to go get ice cream?
- How do you make your Italian Wedding Soup? That was a great Fall weather dish.
- How come my spaghetti sauce is always so thick and yours was just perfect?
- How do you make that short rib lasagna with Italian gravy? Why didn’t you write your recipes down? To keep us guessing?
- Remember that time you fooled me into “going shopping” when really it was your chance to hold me hostage in the car and give me the talk about the birds and the bees? That was funny. I was totally clawing my way out of the car door when you said the word “va-jay-jay.”
- Want to go shopping?
- Should we lower the listing price on our townhome and just suffer the loss?
- This dude was blatantly staring at me on the forty-story elevator ride today. Is there something in my teeth? Is my fly down? Is there an incriminating photo of me on the Internet that I don’t know about? Is my skirt tucked into my underwear? Did I forget to mascara both eyes? Is drool running down my face? Am I showing too much cleavage? How is that possible? I don’t have cleavage. Or, do I just look exceptionally hot? Good god, man, stop staring. Can’t you just look at the numbers like everybody else?
- What do I gift for a Honey Do shower?
- Remember the time in Neiman’s when you asked that guy for an autograph because he had a bodyguard and looked like a gangster rapper? Did we ever figure out who he was? Kind of a jerk for not giving us his autograph. He must have been onto us. You didn’t really pull off the whole gangsta’ motif in your Burberry down jacket with matching hat and that vibrantly red Brighton purse.
I digress. I have a lot in store for you so stay tuned. You’ll get a peek at my attempt at my mom’s spaghetti sauce, Italian Wedding Soup, a delicious pot of Southwestern Chili that the #1 running partner contrived, and more.
What’s on your mind this Monday morn?