Skip to content

The Tale of Two Ham Bones Fighting in a Sack

November 1, 2010

Happy Belated Halloween! Did you get some tricks or some treats? I had quite the epic Bachelorette Halloween weekend of reuniting with old friends, getting groomed at the nail spa, learning to pole dance, eating my face off, mixing up martinis, and dressing up as a cross between Snooki/Rock Star/Rock Star’s agent/Posh Spice. Evidently, my costume had multiple personalities.

Even though I would have much rather dressed up as a banana, the Jersey Shore/White trash theme was the choice of the bachelorette. What we do for our friends to prepare them for their upcoming nuptials. That includes making a total fool of myself attempting to dance around a pole. That also includes not being able to walk or move any muscle in my body because of said pole dancing. All for the bachelorette.

I have a new found respect for strippers. Not only do they have to dance around a pole buck naked with all of their discrepancies and unmentionables exposed to the world … but they have to do so gracefully. Meanwhile, I sported yoga pants and a T-shirt. My rear end looked like the tale of two ham bones fighting in a sack. Neither ham bone won, but they sure put up a good fight. My stomach resembled the muffin man if he swallowed a Frisbee and, I couldn’t stop my face from contorting and cringing while “performing” the moves. Plus, I had to hold onto that pole for like Rose held onto Jack in Titanic. “I’ll never let go. I’ll never let go.” 

It. was. not. pretty.

I would make one horrendous stripper. Maybe if fat strippers became the new trend, I could. But, for now my thighs could start a fire as much as they rub together. I won’t be quitting the ol’ day job.

Plus, I would much rather eat garlic mushrooms in olive oil with a little mac and cheese for dessert.

Garlic Mushrooms

  • 1 tablespoon of olive oil
  • One container of white button mushrooms, stems removed
  • 2 teaspoons of minced garlic
  • Parsley for garnish

These champiñones al ajillo (garlic mushrooms) were the final piece to the tapas night puzzle we enjoyed a couple weekends ago. I didn’t really follow a recipe here. I literally just sauteed mushrooms in 2 teaspoons of garlic and a tablespoon of olive oil for about 10 minutes. Then, I sprinkled with parsley.

One Year Ago: Pumpkin Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting

One Comment leave one →
  1. November 22, 2010 6:12 pm

    great one

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: