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No Ands, Ifs or Buts About It.

November 8, 2010

Asparagus is that infamous “but” that follows a comma and begins a coordinating conjunction. For you non-English grammar aficionados, here’s an example:

I love crunching on buttery and garlic asparagus, but I …

If you like asparagus, by all means, take the liberty of finishing the next sentence, but I’m not going there. Oh my. Another conjunction sentence. We’re getting a little crazy ’round these parts.

Here, let’s try a few more examples using other conjunction sentences. Conjunctions are the new pink.

Dylan uses them. “I really love you Brenda, but I cheated on you with Kelly that summer you were in Europe.”

Now my turn! I like running, but my thighs, my dear thighs, they rub together. These new Rumba time watches would make an excellent stocking stuffer for the trendy athletes of the fam.

There’s a really awesome Kate Spade sale debuting on right now, but my American Express runneth over this month. (That was not a hint for my better half, but maybe it was. Just a little.)

L.L. Bean has an incredible wooden Scrabble set for Christmas, but the #1 running partner doesn’t enjoy Scrabble as much as I do. Probably because I dominate.

I’m a big nerd for enjoying Scrabble, but I’m OK with it.  Jumpin’ Jehosaphines! It even can be monogrammed. Sold!

I just made up the word “jehosaphines” (ja-HOS-uh-feens), and it is awesome. Triple. Word. Score. Awesome.

I would really like a Great Pyrenees, but I’m not sure Hefty makes garbage bags big enough for cantaloupe-sized dog droppings.

Dorothy wants one, too, and the #1 running partner does as well. He just doesn’t know it yet.  Perhaps he will be ready when Gretal the 120-pound Great Pyrenees is panting on the doorstep.

Speaking of D, Crate and Barrel recently launched a new dog line. Super cute for dog lovers. Yes, I just used the words ‘super’ and ‘cute’ in the same sentence. Don’t hate.  

This Double Golf Organizer from Brookstone is really cool, but Jimminy Jehosaphines, who would pay $250 for such a thing? Probably someone whose American Express isn’t runneth-ing over. Probably someone who shops the Sky Mall catalog. Probably someone who doesn’t make up words like ‘jehosaphines.’

I’m putting together a list of Christmas ideas. Got any other good gift ideas for me?  Share them on the comments section and we can be best friends forever. No “ands”, “ifs”, or “buts” about it!  

Broiled Asparagus

I like to season it with a dab o’ butter, some garlic and lemon zest. Next, I broil it on high for 10 minutes. Then, I shock it by placing it in a bowl of ice water. Once you remove it from the ice water, it’s a perfect room temperature for chowing down.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. ruthie permalink
    November 8, 2010 8:06 pm

    we have the deluxe scrabble board as well…but ours is plastic.

    and I don’t get why you would season your aspergrass and then rinse in cold water? all the flavors would disappear.

    • entertainbyevie permalink*
      November 10, 2010 8:38 pm

      Surprisingly, they don’t, plus I always over-cook my asparagus.

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