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A Tale of Two Rock Lobstas

December 6, 2010

Once upon a time there was a lobster named Lolly. Lolly met Lyle in high school at a band rehearsal. Lolly was the #1 fan and Lyle was the notorious alternative, rock lobster bad boy. Lolly thought Lyle was dreamy.

And, then there came Dorothy.

Dorothy was the infamous all-star high school athlete bully that was going to make Lolly and Lyle her minion.  

Meet Dorothy’s weapon. Boilin PotOwatta. He was American Indian. His dad owned casinos.

“Just try and stay out of my way. Just try! I’ll get you, my pretty …” Dorothy says as she twiddles her non-existent opposable thumbs and cackles. Mwuahahahahaha.

Dorothy’s other partner in crime. The ‘Puter Hub. He can wrestle clams with one hand tied behind his back and his eyes closed … all the while reformatting your hard drive and installing an entire local network at your own home.

And on to Lolly and Lyle’s demise via Dorothy, the ‘Puter Hub and Boilin Pottawata.

D goes Achmed (Ref: Jeff Dunham’s terrorist puppet) on the dead lobstas.

I think this post just proves that I was dropped on my head as a child.

The lobsters were FedExed to us by Maine Lobster Direct with accompanying clams, potatoes and lobster bisque. It was a thoughtful gift from our in-laws last Christmas and quite the creative idea, I must say! I definitely recommend the gift for people who don’t need more “stuff” and rather give an experience. Check out the website here:  http://www.mainelobsterdirect.com/Catalog/lobsters.cgi/Welcome.html 

The jist of it … someone gives you a lobster dinner and you can call Maine Lobster Direct whenever you want your Lolly’s and Lyle’s delivered. They are FedExed to your doorstep in a nice, big cellophane container. Not to worry that they are a wee bit jet-lagged upon arrival, must be the Ambien, but once you pair them with Boilin Pottawatta, they begin to get a little fiesty. I probably would, too, if my internal components were smoldering into stew.  

Lobster

Notes: These suckers are viscious, plus they look like large bugs. If your name is Evie, remain within 20 feet of lobsters at even given time. Only attempt to touch lobsters with a ten-foot pole except when they’re dunzo and ready to become your dinner.

  • 2 live lobsters
  • Salt
  • 1/4 cup of melted butter

Boil a very large caldron of water. Season water with salt as you desire. While wearing gloves, place lobsters in the water and boil for 13-15 minutes. Put the lid on.

Melt butter in a small bowl in the microwave for about 30 seconds. When the lobsters are ready, snap them in half and pull the tale off. Cut the tail in half (vertically) and pull out the meat. Using a lobster cracker, crack the claws at the joint near the base of its body. Pull claws off. Then, crack the claw in half to pull out the claw meat. There is more lobster meat in the body area but I stay away from the body meat because there is all sorts of green gooey stuff.  I’m more of a claw and tail kinda gal.

This website has some great tips on how to eat a lobster: http://www.gma.org/lobsters/eatingetc.html.

Dip the meat in butter and enjoy!

One Comment leave one →
  1. Becky permalink
    December 7, 2010 10:23 pm

    Dorothy and Richard make a great team! Awesome post, Ev!

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